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Strictly Scooter

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Strictly Scooter

Postby solostax » Mon Apr 01, 2019 12:05 am

To..<<followmylead@gmail.com>>

CC:Cedric Hootwhistle (director) Solostax (production secretary)

Bcc : LCGB…….VCGB …..Pizza Pronto Mobile Catering….St Johns Ambulance....The Politically Correct Consultancy...Makeup Dept….Post Production Facilities…..Skid Row Tyres.... Lets Get Itonsite Music Inc......

Dear All
As previously discussed ,here is the draft proposal for our next production.....Please submit any constructive thoughts etc...
Because of its preliminary nature it would be appreciated not being shared with the media yet...
Regards
S.S.


"Spotlight Lambretta"

Looking for volunteers

Remember the closing ceremony for the 2012 Olympics ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu0iMyNRc9E
Check out the rolling credits!

Guess who suggested and influenced the Olympic controlling committee to incorporate scooters on this televised extravaganza even when there was no obvious link to the games and Mods? Guess no more!.

Working on the creative team that bought us “Strictly Come Dancing” ,”Dancing On Ice”,”Great British Bake Off”,”For The Love Of Dogs”and the “Red Bull Racing” TV shows, Ms Ersteklasse is confident that a scooter themed TV mini series will be a hit with the viewing public.The title and nature of the program will be “Strictly Scooter ”.


Avril Ersteklasse's passions in life ,Choreography ,Lambrettas, Synchronised underwater wrestling ,Marathon running, Dogging ,Walking and Northern Soul have all been the seeds for specialist inspired TV shows that have appealed to a wider TV audience than their titles suggest.

In her role as Creative Director, Avril is formulating a new production structured on the competitive genre of previously successful “reality “shows. Much like behind the scenes activity in most shows there will be intensive rehearsals prior to the finished article and general broadcast .

A spin off programme might involve these practice session outtakes.The initial formula will mirror the competitive nature of scooter inter club field gymkhana events from the early days and consist of three stages as of a Triathlon style event, whereby individuals, local scooter club team members and random audience participants vie to win.


The Taste Of Things To Come ,The Main Ingredients.


Episode 1.. Whetting The Appetite


Pilot Plot:


The rough outline envisages the 1st stage comprising regional scooter club teams forming a five person pyramid whilst riding the scooter through a slalom course,(suggested overdubbing engine noise with Wilson Pickett's “Land Of A Thousand Dances”?) .watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7GEzgxvL9w


The 2nd stage is a test to run and bump start Scooters whilst attempting to play a popular tune on a harmonica installed in the crash helmet.( Basic harmonica music lessons provided by “Lets Get It Onsite Inc”) .The competitors must wear boots that are at least two sizes bigger than normal and their harmonica rendition must be recognisable on recorded playback. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50xx1_CbJTI;;;“Time Is Tight”( Booker T and The MGs) as a suggestion.


The 3rd and final stage titled “1st Aid and Lemon Aid” will consist of various everyday scooter tasks whilst being handicapped by wearing welders goggles (or, if frightened by the dark, 3D Virtual Reality mask) .These to include.: Refilling the petrol tank from a full 20 litre Jerry Can ….. Repairing a puncture ….Changing the spark plug whilst also wearing welders gauntlets.


The total series will involve 24 half hour episodes ,each being judged in the” X Factor” style , with the ultimate surviving member(s) winning the £50.000 prize. As in all the stages, the judgement criteria will be style, task achievement time ,entertainment value and personal charisma together with an online public voting system.


With the option of blending additional background stories with personalities from the past and present, it is felt the continued viewing public’s interest over 24 episodes can be maintained using spontaneous flexibility.The many celebrities from the music,film and cycling worlds, known for their affinity with scooters and Lambretta in particular ,will be making “Guest Appearances”.


Are You Game?


The subject nature and proposed participants are very harmonious as it is acknowledged that those interested in this project are likely to be retired ,have a taste for adventure and are mildly exhibitionist ,perfect candidates for the arduous mid week intensive training / filming schedule but devoid of distractions such as “work” or other pastimes.


The following are key points for possible participants:-

A. There will be financial remuneration in the form of £200 + £72 (to cover scooter maintenance and running expenses) per diem for those without an Equity Card ,rising to £225 for those with.


B. A special comprehensive insurance to cover the exemptions of domestic motor policy (racing/ rallying / competitions/ for hire ,etc is provided whilst activity is under “direction “.


C. Either a van pickup service for scooters/riders is available for those not wanting to ride to / from the filming location, or overnight hotel accommodation and evening meal allowance is paid where contestants live more than 40 miles from location filming.


D. Complimentary catering together with recreational facilities whilst on site.


E. On completion of 5 hours "In The Can" filming the individual scooter/rider will receive a complementary set of 3 tubeless wheels with tyres of choice from our tyre sponsors.


F. Full onsite mobile workshop / repair facilities (with Dyno) to ensure scooter availability.


Are You Available?


As we are an active equal opportunities organisation we welcome all people regardless of race, age,ability, height etc and those of undefined sexual orientation. Indeed a "TV" riding a Lambretta TV viewed on the TV would amply illustrate our policy.

Although we are also "Investors In People" our strict production budget precludes candidates not holding a valid driving licence,.

If you are interested,please be advised that auditions for suitable candidates might take place as early as 31/4/2019 in the car parks of local churches,mosques,synagogues,temples or other selected secluded locations throughout the UK (subject to Brexit).Good luck!!!


Applications and audition venues : …….http://www.einaprillambretta.con
solostax
 
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Re: Strictly Scooter

Postby landybretta » Mon Apr 01, 2019 10:58 am

I was just about to send my application when I happened to glance at the calendar. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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landybretta
 
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Re: Strictly Scooter

Postby solostax » Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:40 pm

Ooops ! Made a bit of a faux pas there Landybretta ,but thanks for pointing it out! I'm also in trouble with Ms Avril regarding my description of her passions in life.Where the text mentions "dogging" it should have read "Dog walking".Apologies to all !
Regards
Soloastax.
solostax
 
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